This is the thing I'm really curious about, and what prompted this thread to begin with. Would a conservative S4 tune produce more wear on an engine than an optimally tuned S3? Because if it doesn't, then a detuned S4 doesn't produced any further wear on the engine than the S3, but also manages to decrease its own wear as a result? And all I pay for that is a marginally later spool and the extra cost associated with the purchase?
No
Yes
Potentially
You are not wrong in your assumption, however both scenarios translate to different throttle response.
You need to figure out what your goals are long term. What I mean is long term support mods, and goals for the car. If you will never track it, and only daily drive it, get an s3 or gtx2867. If you ever plan to track it, drive it over 90mph for extended periods, supplement fuel, or tear into the engine for a rebuild/upgrade, then get an s4.
With support mods like a good exhaust manifold, downpipe, catback, and heatshields, your s3 will still spool fast, and you will increase the volumetric efficiency of the engine. Meaning better fuel burn, cyl evacuation, and top end on the s3. It won't ever hit 500hp but it will flow a lot more up top, than without support mods. That'll put you close to 380hp. 380hp is a lot for this FWD, 6spd, short geared car. Your power will always be there, you will shift like you do now, and throttle response will be similar to stock but smoother power delivery.
With a detuned s4, the car will feel like a dog. The lag will be worse, and it'll feel like you never get a full breath from the turbo. Will you have power? Sure, but it won't be immediate or smooth, you will need to mash the pedal all the way down all the time, which can make driving goofy.
With all my support mods, ceramic coats, and heat wrap/blanket, my spool is close to a k04, but turbo efficiency is around 4k, that's where you have power. With the S4 and my mods, I never need to go full WOT. I can stay in gear longer, so driving around town I cruise at 3.5k rpms. If I need to move fast I throttle until 6.5k before I shift. So I gained the feel of taller gearing, think like a v8 with a 4spd.
I have a lot more support mods that I won't list cuz lazy, but they are all for cooling and endurance, so when I need to move and stay in power, I don't worry about overheating or failures.
So again, support mods and long term goals. Do you want to keep shifting around all day trying to find power, or do you like the feel of the k04 and how it is immediate?